Celebrity Friends...

I have a stupid and ridiculous but still pathological aversion to 'celebrity'.

You know the sort of thing I mean; Rylan (is that how you spell it?) who was on the X Factor a couple of years ago.  He's what I would call a celebrity: but why?  When all is said and done, he's a celebrity for being a rubbish singer... albeit, he's still a better singer than me.

But then again, I'm not a celebrity.

There's no rhyme nor reason to my aversion - I've never met Rylan or any other celebrity for that matter - and he might well be a perfectly nice bloke.  In fact he probably is...

It's just that to me, there's no substance, just ambition.

I don't know where my aversion comes from, either.  But I can remember when it first manifested itself.

I used to work for a high street bank that shall remain nameless, but listened very well.  My second branch was in a city that had a quite a big football club (which will also remain nameless for reasons that will become obvious in a little bit) in the old first division before the days of the Premier League.

My job was on the front desk dealing with all sorts of queries and questions; everything from what's my balance to can I have a loan.

Anyway, one day two famous footballers came in with their attendant WAGs.  I recognised them straight away but decided, for whatever reason, to keep stum.

One of the footballers swaggered (yes, swaggered) up to the front desk.

'Are my wages in?'  He demanded in a particularly demanding voice.

On the inside I bristled.  But on the outside I was very calm.

'I'll check for you... what's your name and who do you work for?'

His eye brows shot up and his footballer friend (whom I also recognised as an international player started laughing.

Anyway, player one told me his name and gave me his employer... saying it as though I should know it (which I did) just because he was a famous footballer.

Now it was my turn to ham it up.

'Really?'  Says I, 'you work at the football club?  Do you know any of the players?'

Hah, slam dunk, right between the eyes and victory was mine.  His colleague was now properly laughing and the WAGs were waving their shoulder pads at me in annoyance.

Then I checked his wages.

Three wins and a draw in a month, played in every game, scored in two of them.

Even back in 1988 his month's wages amounted to... £28,000

Blast.

Now, don't get me wrong, I strongly believe that if someone can command a high salary because of what they do whether they save lives, create jobs or they entertain millions, that's all well and good... I begrudge no-one their salary.

But please, please can we back up ambition with talent before we celebrate celebrity?

Booking.com

Don't get me wrong... I really like booking.com.

I like the way the website and App interact with each other and with me... I like the way the booking process works and I even like the (pretty constant) suggestions of places I might like to visit.

And I certainly like the prices.

For example, I've been doing a bit of work in London recently.  My work has been based near the Royal Albert Hall and, as you can imagine finding somewhere to stay nearby was proving to be, shall we say, pricey.

So, booking.com to the rescue.

It took a bit of searching but I eventually found what looked like a very nice four star hotel called the Park Grand in Bayswater, just the other side of Hyde Park - a pleasant 20 minute walk from where I was working.

And, even better, it was 50% off on booking.com.  Now, I have to say that didn't make the single room I booked exactly cheap, but at least it was a realistic £100 a night instead of the advertised £200.

I fetched up on Sunday evening at the hotel and experienced booking.comism for the first time.

It's a bit like sexism but funny rather than simply wrong.

First of all checking was fine and I was allocated room 019... 'round the corner to the lift, sir'.

So I went to the lift and went up.

First mistake.

I walked back down to the ground floor and kept following the signs - down into the basement.  And there I found room 019.  I have to say it had everything a room should have.  A wardrobe, single bed, desk and shower room.

But no floor space... almost literally.  I could stretch my arms out and touch both walls... but, okay; after all I was really only going to sleep in the room.  It was comfortable enough.

I went back to reception to check what time breakfast was in the morning.  But it occurred to me to ask: 'does my room come with breakfast included?'

The same guy who checked me simply looked me straight in the eye and said:

'Booking.com.  No, sir'.

A funny old time...

It's a funny old time in business at the moment...

What with the Brexit* vote and the potential for (yet another) referendum, this time for Scottish Independence, there's quite a lot going on.

And, it seems to me, there are a lot of people, mostly politicians - all of whom are an awful lot smarter than me, talking about uncertain times ahead.

But I don't see it.

This is my philosophy on things:

No matter what happens the sun will come up tomorrow (although it might be behind some cloud) and it will go down again at the end of the day.  That's certain.

And, do you know what?: people are still going to need their haircut and to have a cup of coffee on their way to work.  They need their front rooms decorated and their showers fixed.  They need new carpets and their cars still need an MoT.

Who knows what will happen in the political world tomorrow?  I for one have decided not to worry about it and I'm not going to think about what might happen if this or that occurs because that way will only lead to more uncertainty.  And my uncertainty won't help anyone I know.

I truly believe that how these days pan out is down to us - us who work in small businesses delivering service, building things and doing things for customers day in day out.

Why do I think like this?

Well, I'm lucky enough to meet lots of people doing lots of things in business.  We have every business you could think of as clients from scientists to builders and singers to tailors.  And there's business out there for everyone.  I've heard 'experts' predict that there might be 15% fall in business (whatever that means).

I don't believe that but even if there was, it means 85% of business is still being done.

So, let's just stop talking about uncertainty and get on with doing business and it will be better for everyone.

I've got another idea.  Let's build a big wall (at least a metaphorical one) around politics and let them think the big thoughts, talk about things endlessly and worry about uncertainty whilst we just crack on with things.

But then, I guess that's we always do isn't it?

As a final point, I would say that I know my view is overly simplistic but simple is good sometimes.

*I've been trying to find relevant and useful information on Brexit and what it means definitively...   And I can't find anything.  That's because it doesn't exist.  No-one knows what it means so I can't help thinking we can create anything we want out of this situation.

Time

I live in Edinburgh...

And life is pretty fast paced.

I get into work about 9 in the morning.  I look at my watch and it's 5 to 1 - lunch time.  I look again and its quarter past 5.  I look for a final time and it's 7.30.

Every day is like that, without fail.  Even the weekends go by in a flash and I certainly can't believe that it's the middle of June - the year only just seems to have got going and I'm thinking about booking the team's Christmas dinner!

Has anyone else noticed how life seems to be going by faster and faster?  I've worked out exactly why this happens.

Think about this.

When you are 10 years old - 1 year of your life equals 10% of the time you've been alive - a big proportion.

But when you're 50 (which I virtually am) 1 year of your life represents only 2% of the total - hence it goes by a lot quicker.

I said to Renee last year (2015) 'time is flashing by so quickly - 2014 went by in a blur.  We really need to slow 2015 down.'

She just looked at me with a withering stare, shook her head and said, 'You idiot... it's November!'

Fair point.

Anyway, to the point of this blog.

Last week Renee and I went to visit my Mum and Dad who live in a little place called Oulton Broad in Suffolk... Oulton Broad is the only Norfolk Broad that's not actually in Norfolk.

We arrived Monday evening and by Tuesday afternoon we'd noticed something very strange.

Time was moving much slower.

I got up about 8 and a bit later I looked at my watch.  It was only half past 9.  In Edinburgh it would have been 1pm.

We went walking, walked for hours along the banks of the River Waveney and still arrived in Beccles before lunch.

I looked at my watch later in the evening: 9pm!

How could this be?  Is there some time shift somewhere around King's Lynn?  After all, it can't be anything to do with having time off because Saturdays in Edinburgh flash by just as fast as a week day!

So what is it?

And can it be bottled for later?

Because I sure as eggs are eggs know that I need to slow down time some how.

Any suggestions?

Let Property Campaign

Whatever we think of HMRC, bless them, I have to say I believe they are entirely fair.

At least they have been in my dealings with them.

A little black and white, maybe, but entirely fair nonetheless.

A little bit difficult to deal with, sometimes, but entirely fair.

A little intransigent, I grant you, but entirely fair.

That's why I'm a bit surprised at the HMRC Let Property Campaign (LPC).  A whole unit has been set up within HMRC to make the campaign run smoothly and in my dealings with them they have been excellent.

Just to recap what the LPC is all about.

Some people own a second property which they let out to tenants.  They receive rent from their tenant and if the income received is more than the allowable expenses they make a profit.  This profit is taxed... as long as HMRC knows about it.

That's why, with a very few exceptions, everyone who rents out a property needs to fill in a self assessment tax return every year to declare this profit.

However, for whatever reason, some people don't do this.  They've forgotten they have the property, they don't think they need to fill in a tax return, the dog ate it and so on...

And once a tax return is missed one year and the world doesn't come to an end, the following year it's just a little easier not to complete a return and the next year is easier still.  

All of a sudden 10 years have been missed and now the weight of guilt begins to build up.  The person in question is just waiting for the letter, the 'phone call or even the visit (very unlikely) from HMRC to say 'you're nicked, mate'.

But all HMRC wants, being entirely fair, is everyone to pay the tax they are due and so the Let Property Campaign was born to make it easy for landlords to bring their affairs up to date (to quote the website).

There are two ways the campaign works.  A landlord can 'fess up' and get in touch with the campaign to say they have a property and they want to take part in the campaign.

Or...

HMRC gets wind of the property and writes to the landlord with a reference number and inviting them to come clean.  And, by the way, if you have a property you haven't declared this is getting more and more likely as the landlord registration scheme really kicks in.

Option 1 (fessing up voluntarily) is preferable from a fines point of view but in either case the process is simple enough: work out what level of profit you made by renting out the property over however many years you've had it, select the level of penalty you believe you should pay, work out the interest that's due and make an offer to HMRC.

They'll check your figures and either say 'yes' or 'no' depending on whether they believe you.

Once they agree and you pay everything becomes formal and that's it.

You get to sleep easy again.

We've completed quite a few of these now for a customers and we do all the negotiation with HMRC and even fill in the forms.

If you need any help or even just want to talk through your options, get in touch: 0131 202 9888 or via Facebook:

facebook.com/accountantsedinburgh

Techno Wizard...

... I ain't.

But techophobe neither.

I sit somewhere slap bang in the middle.  I like technology for what it can do but not for technology's sake if you see what I mean.  I need someone to tell me what's possible...

Let me give you an example.

I was at a networking event several years ago and I was talking to an IT guy.  Unfortunately I'd exhausted the subjects of weather, football, politics and quantum physics so I thought I'd better ask him something about IT.

As I said this was a few years back so the I-Pad had been about for a while but wasn't very widespread yet.  This is what I heard myself saying:

'I can't really see the point of an I-Pad, can you?'

This was the response I got:

'Your I-Pad will occupy the space between your I-Phone and your laptop.'

'Uh-huh?  Really?'  Says I nodding wisely and wondering what possible response to give because I wasn't actually aware of the space between my I-Phone and my laptop.  'Is there a space between..?'

'Oh, yes,' says the IT guy before wandering off, clearly bored with my conversation.

The next week I was away working.  And, along with many sad gits I was having breakfast on my own in the hotel restaurant.  I didn't want to just stare into space whilst waiting for my eggs so I was watching the news on my I-Phone when I looked around at my fellow saddos.

And lo and behold they were watching the news, too... but on their I-Pads.  There was a space between I-Phone and laptop after all!

Up to date now - well, a few months ago...

I had the thought that we need to move with the times and have our own app...

And I was asked the inevitable question by my co-directors: 'Why?'

Errmmm... to improve client engagement and facilitate the transfer of information (I seemed to remember from the blurb the app development company sent to me.)

There was a sad shaking of the heads and a very quiet moment...

But after a while as we started thinking about what our own app would look like we found the reason to have one and started the ball rolling.

I am delighted to tell you that our very own app is going to be launched in a few weeks.

It will allow us to chase people for records, send information that will be useful and relevant, tell people about us... but it will also keep track of mileage claims and expenses, sending the info to us at regular intervals.

More details to follow - but we're excited about this one!

Buy1Give1

I guess very few experiences are genuinely life changing.

Sometimes we go through an event and it changes our attitude to something, or we enjoy (or hate) something so much we decide to do more (or less) of it in the future...

But rarely does something affect us so profoundly that everything changes.

I actually had one of those experiences in April at the ActionCOACH Business Excellence Forum conference.

Generally speaking the conference was great with lots of inspirational and motivational speakers with brilliant business ideas.  I came back with a notebook full of them and some of them I've even acted upon.

But there was one speaker, called Paul Dunn, who talked about things guys at these conferences tend to talk about.  Things like making lots of small changes instead of trying to make whacking great big ones and so on...

But then he started talking about a... I hardly know how to describe it... a movement he's involved with called Buy1Give1.  Sometimes shortened to B - 1 - G -1.  Not Bigi as someone once said!.

Buy1Give1 struck a chord with all three of us directors and I think it made an impact for different reasons.

For me giving to charity is a complicated thing (in my mind).  After all, who do you give to, how much and how do you know it gets to the right place?  I occasionally will text in a donation in response to a TV advert but I'm put off doing this by the telephone calls that inevitably follow and I usually give something at Children In Need time.

For me, though, B1G1 gives us as a business a fantastic opportunity to make impacts which we control.  We control how much we spend and it's amazing how a few dollars can make huge impacts on peoples' lives when given in the right way.

For Renee, I think it was to do with the fact that B1G1 gives us a reason to create impacts and as we create more impacts we build stories that we can share... (and please note the language - it's not about giving to charity, it's about impacting someone's life).

For Rowena it was more about the opportunity to include the team, to provide them with budgets and opportunities to make impacts by contributing to one of many, many projects there are available.

B1G1 makes it very easy for me to have an impact on someone's life who hasn't been as fortunate as I have.  It also gives me a reason and a way of doing it regularly, quietly and in a small way without the need or requirement for a grand gesture.

And I like that.

It's not for everyone but if you'd like to see how it works visit www.b1g1.com

Thank you.