Delegates

Of course most of our funny stories come from the delegates we've had on courses over the years... and, to be honest, sometimes they mean to be funny and sometimes they don't.

Take, for example, a lady from a course delivered more than 10 years ago.  We called her Yah because as she was taking part in role plays (which we call Skills Practices nowadays - less scary, you see) she continually - and I mean continually - slapped her left thigh and said 'yah' at the end of every sentence.

It must have been agony.

Anyway, jumping forward a few years we delivered a course for a franchisor.  It was a fairly large group of 10 people or so, with a couple of husband and wife teams.

There was a lovely couple on the course.  The fella had been a senior manager in a business but had decided to set up his own business with his wife.  His wife was lovely, too, but in all honesty she was tuned to the moon.

Let me give you an example.  One day another delegates told a joke during a break.  It wasn't a blue joke and it wasn't particularly derogatory about anyone* but it seemed that Rosemary took exception to it and gave the guy who told the joke both barrels: 'that's just inappropriate and I don't want o be subject to your miscreant humour... please keep your disgusting jokes to yourself in future.'

I happened to share a glance with her husband at this moment and he was staring at me with eyes wide as if to say 'oh my God, did she just say that?'

I suspect he was learning quite a lot about his wife that hitherto he just didn't know.

Anyway, it came to the set piece closing session of the course.  This was a presentation delivered by the CEO who was a very good public speaker, even if he was a somewhat prickly character.  The presentation was very professional with supporting slides and everything.

The CEO was about 3 slides in and in full oratory flow when suddenly Rosemary quite literally shouts:

'Stop!  STOP!  Go back a slide... I have to see the previous slide!'

Having put the slides together myself I was mystified.  There was nothing on the slide that could have caused the outburst; just a few words and a picture of a worker smiling whilst going about her job.

The CEO was miffed.  'What is it Rosemary?'  He demanded querulously.

'That lady is wearing a lovely gilet and necklace!'

*Just for balance I thought I'd better tell the joke that caused such consternation in Rosemary:

Two American couples and a couple from Northern Ireland (the guy telling the joke was from Ballymena) were at breakfast in Las Vegas.

The first American guy looks lovingly at his wife and says: 'Sugar, will you pass the sugar?  Thank you sugar.'

The Irish bloke was a bit taken aback.  That was very nice he thought, guiltily.

The next American guy looks lovingly at his wife, too, and says: 'Honey, love of my life, will pass the honey please?'

Now the Irish guy was really feeling the pressure to say something loving to his wife.  All eyes turned expectantly to him, including his wife's...

Oh my God, I have to say something, he thinks desperately before blurting out: 'Would ye pass the bacon ye fat pig?'