The Sleeper

Here's a story from Richard's training past:

Everyone who's been in training for any length of time has had a sleeper on one of their courses... and probably more than one; although to have more than one on the same course is probably an issue.

I was doing some work for a regiment of the army... I won't say which one for reasons that will become obvious soon.

Anyway, I'd done my bit in the morning, which was lucky because lunch served in the Officer's Mess was jolly good, just a bit more than was strictly needed before an afternoon session in the lecture theatre.

After lunch I filed in to the auditorium with the two officers assigned to look after me.  Rupert and Tarquin I think their name's where.

Up on stage there was a distinguished old Cavalry Officer who must have been 80 years old if he was a day, in full military fig.  When the lights dimmed he started talking about the merits of decisive decision making (can there be any other sort?  I asked myself).

Apparently this wasn't to Tarquin's liking because folded his arms, turned to Rupert and said: 'My God this is boring... I'm going to sleep.'

Which he did.

Unfortunately the old boy on stage spotted him and decided to do something about it.

'I say, my good man,' says he to Rupert, 'The fellow next to you has gone to sleep... will you wake him up for me?'

Quick as a flash Rupert replied, 'You put him to sleep, you wake him up!'

Oh, how priceless!

Years later Renee and I were running a course together in Cobham, Surrey.  It was a large group all learning how to sell.

One fella was a biggish chap who was on the course with his son.  Personally, I think that retirement wasn't really suiting him (or his wife) and he was there for something to do, rather than any real desire to learn to sell.

Whatever... he'd had a large lunch and when we congregated for the afternoon session he promptly fell asleep.

I was sitting next to him and Renee was delivering the session... I think you can probably see where this is going!

'Richard,' says Renee, 'The guy next to you has fallen asleep.  Could you wake him up for me?'

Now, bearing in mind that Renee was both my colleague and my wife I should have probably thought through my response in a little more detail before leaping back with the riposte: 'You put him to sleep... you wake home up!'

Hmmm... it was the closest I've ever been to committing a 'Spare Room Offence'.