A couple of years ago we did some work for a US based software security company...
We won't say which one but it's former owner is now on the run somewhere in South America.
It was a great job over several months that involved a series of training courses delivered in Dallas, Texas. The first couple of courses were two day affairs, so R & R arrived a day early and went straight home after the first course but managed to tack on a few days holiday after the second.
Interestingly Richard had a stereotypical view of Texans when he first arrived... a view that seemed to be confirmed during their first meal in Dallas.
It was August and therefore it was scorching hot; 40+ degrees. There was a sports bar directly opposite the hotel and the fact that all the waitresses were wearing nothing but bikinis had no influence on Richard's choice of eatery.
Anyway, it being hot Renee and Richard decided to eat outside (the only people doing so, 'cos everyone else was in the cool air conditioned bar.)
As Texans walked passed they threw a few strange looks at the pair of them. Eventually one person shouted over the parking lot: 'You know y'awll gonna get sunburned sitting there!'
To which R & R replied: 'We know, we're from Scotland and will be pale again next week!'
As he got to know a few genuine Texans, Richard changed his opinion. Sure they may proffer their opinions in the loudest possible way, but they always come from the right place. The only reason the lady shouted from the other side of the parking lot was because she was genuinely concerned.
And so the project continued until Richard got a 'phone call on 28th November; could he be in Dallas on 1st December to deliver a half day course?
What?
So it was on British Airways from edinburgh to Heathrow on the morning of the 30th November and then American Airlines to (the twin cities of) Minneapolis and St Paul's before another flight to Dallas, arriving at about 6.00pm, because of the time difference, in Texas.
Then it was up at 7.00am to get to the office to deliver the half day follow up session between 9.00am and 1.00pm.
The taxi was ordered for 1.30pm on the 1st December and the flight on American went to Memphis then Memphis to Heathrow, arriving in the early hours of 2nd December before jumping on the final flight up from Heathrow (which was on the verge of being closed because of snow) and getting back into the office at 3.00pm on the 2nd December.
Phew!
Richard was a little surprised when his Dad asked what Dallas was like. 'Errr... much like Edinburgh, really. Or at least the office block I was working in was.'
Strangely, though, Richard doesn't say he felt tired doing it... there wasn't time for jet lag to set in and he managed to get a decent night's sleep ont he 'plane onthe way home!
He would want to do it for a commute, though.
Friday 29 November 2013
Friday 15 November 2013
White Coffee
You know what it's like when new people start work at your place... it's an unwritten rule that have to take the mick out of them and you get them doing silly things like ringing the zoo and asking for the seal of approval... that sort of thing.
Except with this guy, we didn't have to.
He started with our training company doing administration and the first thing he had to administrate was coffee!
So he asked people around the office. Renee asked for black coffee and Stewart asked for 'white with one.'
A few minutes later Richard walked into the kitchen to see the new fella with a jar Nescafe in his hands but searching in the cupboard for something else.
'What are you looking for?' Asked Richard.
'Do you have any other coffee?' Said the new guy by way of response.
Richard was perplexed: 'Why do you need more coffee?'
Well, I've found this coffee,' says the young man waving the jar in Richard's general direction, 'But I can't seem to find the white coffee.'
Immediately Richard made a pact with himself not to tell anyone... which lasted all of 7.72453 seconds.
Except with this guy, we didn't have to.
He started with our training company doing administration and the first thing he had to administrate was coffee!
So he asked people around the office. Renee asked for black coffee and Stewart asked for 'white with one.'
A few minutes later Richard walked into the kitchen to see the new fella with a jar Nescafe in his hands but searching in the cupboard for something else.
'What are you looking for?' Asked Richard.
'Do you have any other coffee?' Said the new guy by way of response.
Richard was perplexed: 'Why do you need more coffee?'
Well, I've found this coffee,' says the young man waving the jar in Richard's general direction, 'But I can't seem to find the white coffee.'
Immediately Richard made a pact with himself not to tell anyone... which lasted all of 7.72453 seconds.
Friday 8 November 2013
Big Log
We've set up a variety of learning experiences in the past... everything from recreating a business journey in a physical journey to completing community based projects.
One of these community based projects was based out at the beautiful Falls of Clyde, New Lanark where there's a big Natural Scotland Conservation project.
We met with the Ranger who ran the centre and he had been trying to build a Badger Watch platform for many years. We agreed that we'd pay for the materials and provide the people (we had a group of 15 available for 8 hours) if he'd give technical guidance and make sure the materials we needed were available.
The group included people from all over Europe and the Middle East. They flew in to Glasgow the day before the event, were briefed in the evening and had come up with the plan to build the Badger Watch in the following 12 hours... you get the picture.
The Ranger from the Conservation Trust was as good as his word and there was exactly the right amount of raw materials to build the platform.
The platform turned out to be quite a construction - a walkway, 6 feet wide, built in the shape of a 'T'. 8 feet high at the furthest end to give an unobstructed view of the badger sett. With a hundred or so planks of wood, 20 supporting poles, chicken wire for grip and lots more it was quite an effort to get everything shipped up to the site.
Anyway, the team built the Badger Watch platform... it was a terrific effort, really hard work. But it was one of those days when everything came together. Team spirit was excellent, everyone had a role and there was a growing sense of achievement as the platform arose out of the hillside...
Right up until the very last moment.
The 'topping out' ceremony was actually the fixing of the last plank to the almost complete structure.
But OMG, we were one board short. All eyes turned to the park Ranger who was scratching his head.
'I know we had the right number of planks... I ordered them myself.'
It was then we heard an industrious sawing sound.
Almost as one, all heads swivelled towards a Dutch guy who was busy cutting through a plank... the LAST plank.
'What are you doing?' Shouted one of the ladies on the course.
'Errr...' said the Dutch fella nervously. 'Errr... I'm making a bench out of this spare plank I found.' He swallowed a lump that had just appeared in his throat.
Bedlam broke out. 'You idiot! That was the last plank we needed to complete the project... we were about to have our photos taken and everything.'
More shouting and now the group was beginning to advance menacingly towards the guy who was backing up towards the edge of the platform.
Seeing what was about to happen the Ranger stepped forwards. 'Don't worry, I can get another plank tomorrow and come back...'
Slowly the group calmed down and their Dutch colleague realised he wasn't going to get lynched after all...
But it was close.
One of these community based projects was based out at the beautiful Falls of Clyde, New Lanark where there's a big Natural Scotland Conservation project.
We met with the Ranger who ran the centre and he had been trying to build a Badger Watch platform for many years. We agreed that we'd pay for the materials and provide the people (we had a group of 15 available for 8 hours) if he'd give technical guidance and make sure the materials we needed were available.
The group included people from all over Europe and the Middle East. They flew in to Glasgow the day before the event, were briefed in the evening and had come up with the plan to build the Badger Watch in the following 12 hours... you get the picture.
The Ranger from the Conservation Trust was as good as his word and there was exactly the right amount of raw materials to build the platform.
The platform turned out to be quite a construction - a walkway, 6 feet wide, built in the shape of a 'T'. 8 feet high at the furthest end to give an unobstructed view of the badger sett. With a hundred or so planks of wood, 20 supporting poles, chicken wire for grip and lots more it was quite an effort to get everything shipped up to the site.
Anyway, the team built the Badger Watch platform... it was a terrific effort, really hard work. But it was one of those days when everything came together. Team spirit was excellent, everyone had a role and there was a growing sense of achievement as the platform arose out of the hillside...
Right up until the very last moment.
The 'topping out' ceremony was actually the fixing of the last plank to the almost complete structure.
But OMG, we were one board short. All eyes turned to the park Ranger who was scratching his head.
'I know we had the right number of planks... I ordered them myself.'
It was then we heard an industrious sawing sound.
Almost as one, all heads swivelled towards a Dutch guy who was busy cutting through a plank... the LAST plank.
'What are you doing?' Shouted one of the ladies on the course.
'Errr...' said the Dutch fella nervously. 'Errr... I'm making a bench out of this spare plank I found.' He swallowed a lump that had just appeared in his throat.
Bedlam broke out. 'You idiot! That was the last plank we needed to complete the project... we were about to have our photos taken and everything.'
More shouting and now the group was beginning to advance menacingly towards the guy who was backing up towards the edge of the platform.
Seeing what was about to happen the Ranger stepped forwards. 'Don't worry, I can get another plank tomorrow and come back...'
Slowly the group calmed down and their Dutch colleague realised he wasn't going to get lynched after all...
But it was close.
Friday 1 November 2013
Toilet Rolls
Richard, in the dim and distant past, used to work for Midland Bank before it became nasty scary HSBC.
He joined at the tender and somewhat naive age of 18 at his home town branch of Lowestoft, which was nice, because most of the ladies he worked with were about 22 years of age and generally single.
Richard was able to impress his mates on a Friday night at the local club (which was called Chequers) by being able to talk to so many good looking girls... he never got anywhere with the girls, though!
After a couple of months in the branch Richard was given the highly responsible job of looking after the branch stationery orders; he had to order pens and forms and air freshener. In fact, everything the branch needed to function properly... and that included the toilet rolls.
The stationery order was submitted once a month to head office and deliveries were made a week or so after the order was made. Of course Richard's order had to be checked by the manager but he never did; he just signed the piece of paper Richard put in front of him.
This particular month Richard noticed that he's just opened the last box of toilet rolls so he ordered 72 loo rolls using the usual order form, thinking that those supplies would last a couple of months, depending on how nervous people got in the branch.
A week or so later he got a call from Stationery Department asking if he could be in the branch at 7.00am on the day of the stationery delivery as the articulated lorry had to pull up outside.
'Sure,' says Richard, not thinking too much more about it.
The next day he got to the branch at 7.00am and there was a very large lorry parked outside. 'Must be going on somewhere else,' he thought to himself.
'Here you go mate,' says the driver handing him the two usual medium size boxes.
'Thanks,' replied Richard and turned to go into the branch.
'Hang on, mate,' the driver shouted. 'You need to give me a hand with this lot...'
Oh My God. The rest of the trailer was packed with toilet rolls.
'B...b...but I didn't order that,' stammered Richard.
'Yes you did,' replied the lorry driver cheerfully. 'Come on, give us an 'and.'
So the pair of them unloaded 72 boxes of 72 toilet rolls into the main banking hall at Lowestoft branch - which was now full of cardboard.
The driver started to climb back into his lorry.
'Oy,' shouted Richard, 'Aren't you going to help me carry this lot upstairs?'
'Can't,' shouted the lorry driver as he started his engine with a roar. 'I've got to get back to the depot... we didn't have room for anything else on the wagon!'
Richard looked at his watch: 7.38am. 40 minutes to get 72 boxes up 3 flights of stairs to the stationery room which was right at the top of the building.
He then put in what he still regards as his best ever 40 minutes of hard graft. But at the end of it every box of toilet rolls was packed safely away at the top of the building... and no-one ever mentioned how packed with boxes the stationery room was!
As an aside there's a strange end to the story. Richard was promoted to a new branch a couple of months later and didn't return for another 5 years, this time as a manager.
One day he needed to get a new loo roll for the toilet. He went into the stationery cupboard and was astonished to find that he was opening the last box of the mammoth order he had made all those years before.
he must have saved the branch a fortune!
He joined at the tender and somewhat naive age of 18 at his home town branch of Lowestoft, which was nice, because most of the ladies he worked with were about 22 years of age and generally single.
Richard was able to impress his mates on a Friday night at the local club (which was called Chequers) by being able to talk to so many good looking girls... he never got anywhere with the girls, though!
After a couple of months in the branch Richard was given the highly responsible job of looking after the branch stationery orders; he had to order pens and forms and air freshener. In fact, everything the branch needed to function properly... and that included the toilet rolls.
The stationery order was submitted once a month to head office and deliveries were made a week or so after the order was made. Of course Richard's order had to be checked by the manager but he never did; he just signed the piece of paper Richard put in front of him.
This particular month Richard noticed that he's just opened the last box of toilet rolls so he ordered 72 loo rolls using the usual order form, thinking that those supplies would last a couple of months, depending on how nervous people got in the branch.
A week or so later he got a call from Stationery Department asking if he could be in the branch at 7.00am on the day of the stationery delivery as the articulated lorry had to pull up outside.
'Sure,' says Richard, not thinking too much more about it.
The next day he got to the branch at 7.00am and there was a very large lorry parked outside. 'Must be going on somewhere else,' he thought to himself.
'Here you go mate,' says the driver handing him the two usual medium size boxes.
'Thanks,' replied Richard and turned to go into the branch.
'Hang on, mate,' the driver shouted. 'You need to give me a hand with this lot...'
Oh My God. The rest of the trailer was packed with toilet rolls.
'B...b...but I didn't order that,' stammered Richard.
'Yes you did,' replied the lorry driver cheerfully. 'Come on, give us an 'and.'
So the pair of them unloaded 72 boxes of 72 toilet rolls into the main banking hall at Lowestoft branch - which was now full of cardboard.
The driver started to climb back into his lorry.
'Oy,' shouted Richard, 'Aren't you going to help me carry this lot upstairs?'
'Can't,' shouted the lorry driver as he started his engine with a roar. 'I've got to get back to the depot... we didn't have room for anything else on the wagon!'
Richard looked at his watch: 7.38am. 40 minutes to get 72 boxes up 3 flights of stairs to the stationery room which was right at the top of the building.
He then put in what he still regards as his best ever 40 minutes of hard graft. But at the end of it every box of toilet rolls was packed safely away at the top of the building... and no-one ever mentioned how packed with boxes the stationery room was!
As an aside there's a strange end to the story. Richard was promoted to a new branch a couple of months later and didn't return for another 5 years, this time as a manager.
One day he needed to get a new loo roll for the toilet. He went into the stationery cupboard and was astonished to find that he was opening the last box of the mammoth order he had made all those years before.
he must have saved the branch a fortune!
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